Rock Chick

After reading Rock Chicks and Just Kids I realize that I am - at the very heart of me - a Rock Chick. Although I can't sing a tune or play an instrument, I feel very similar to the women who have been and are still in Rock and Roll.

I am not a part of the mainstream. My behavior could be construed as backwards. I make no pretenses about how deeply my music love affair is tied squarely with Rock and Roll. Hard rock. The louder the better. I am not one for the masses. I am different. I cherish, relish and honor that difference.

I know the awkwardness that Janice Joplin and Joan Jett felt. Each trying hard to be herself and fit in - eventually something was going to give. The wanting to do more and be more than society was allowing or telling them to be. As I said, I can't play an instrument or sing a tune in a bucket. And yet, I feel an affinity with these women. A bond. A sense of sisterhood. I cannot imagine the work and obstacles they had to endure to be who they were/are. While my life is no where near that stressful and intense there are aspects that resemble their struggles.

Some days I wonder if I'm in the right field of work. Am I where I'm supposed to be? How can I break into the one world I know and love so much? I don't want to be a DJ. I can't sing or play in a band. And an agent is out of the question. How can I be a part of Rock and Roll without those options? What is left? I don't know. I'm searching. Historian. Perhaps. Author. Oh what I wouldn't give... And maybe that is it. That is how I become part of Rock and Roll. Just write about it. Be a part of it through words, thoughts, ideas. Why not?  Little by little I can work toward that goal. Little by little I can do the research, the listening, the reading - whatever it takes to gain knowledge and ideas.

This epiphany of sorts is refreshing and more accurately- right. I am on the path to understand who I am. Yes, it took some time. My growth and understanding are due in no small part to the fact that I live in a city where my soul thrives.  Seattle is truly my home. Where I belong. In Seattle, I have become the woman I am meant to be. Nowadays the reflection in the mirror is unrecognizable. And it is incredible! She is not who I expect to look back. She is stronger and more enduring that I ever thought her to be.

2012 feels like the year. My resolution of Run. Write. Dream. BE. Is right. I'm ready to pursue, achieve and grow even further than I already have. I have the tools, the friends, the desire to push further, harder, more. Support and self-belief are the two most critical facets to succeed. Those and a great dictionary. Ha!

Obviously, you are reading this. You are reading my words and my thoughts. It is you that I ask to help keep me accountable for this resolution. It is from you that I request feedback.  For without an audience all I have is a diary. I want my writing to be more than a daily diary or journal. I want you to experience what I experience, know what I know and agree or disagree with my perspective. I think it appropriate  here and now to thank you for coming along on this road with me. It's gonna be a helluva ride!